Health Benefits of the Ultra-Geek Lifestyle

1. Likelihood of skin cancer is zero. Period. (Cancer from the microwave; now that's a different story...)

2. Likelihood of contracting HIV or another STI is virtually nil. The internet: like a condom, only digital.

3. Significantly reduced impact-related damage to the joints. (With the notable exception of carpal tunnel and/or "gameclawitis"...)

4. Significantly reduced exposure to contagious disease. An ounce of reclusion is worth a pound of cures.

- Dr. Nick
Rendering Fat

My predictions for "Dark Knight":

1. "Why so serious?" will become the clever-dick catchphrase of 2008, supplanting "More cowbell!" as the most omnipresent pop-culture reference in America.

2. This year's Halloween will see more Jokers than all the other Halloweens following a Batman release combined; as well as a fair share of Two-Faces. And yes, unfortunately, it will entail acts of assault and vandalism inspired by the characters...

3. Social networking sites will suddenly develop a rash of Joker user-icons.

4. Heather Ledger will posthumously win the Oscar for Best Supporting.

5. People will ask: "What ever happened to 'Hellboy 2'?" Meanwhile, the executives responsible for scheduling its release concurrently will have committed corporate seppuku.